Dream Come True or Horrible Nightmare?
by Itachis-Only
Summary: ON HIATUS! A sleepover gone wrong sends two girls to a whole new universe where they are instantly captured by the akatsuki. Will they make it out alive, and perhaps with a litle romance? DeiXOc, ItachiXOc, yaoi references, slight KakuHida. Rating may change.
1. Prolouge

"There we go, that's it. Drink it all up."

A snicker followed those words that sent a shiver up my spine. I groaned; my head was killing me, and what the hell was this shit that was being drained down my throat? I sat straight up and started coughing.

"What the HELL is this SHIT?" I spat, rubbing my eyes to clear my hazy vision.

"Oh nothing much, just uh..some medicine..to..uh..help..you."

I looked up at the person force feeding me the 'medicine' and my expression filled with suspicion.

"Yeah, sure, medicine. Gimme the damn flask Hidan i can drink it myself thank YOU very much!"

I stated, snatching the flask from his hands. I took a drink, and spat it out.

"This shit tastes like really really bad..sake."

I glared at the immortal.

"This is sake. Isn't it."

Hidan went silent, his facial expression pretty much spelling, 'Oh shit' across his forehead. It was all I needed.

"YOU FUCKING PERVERT! I'M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE!"

I leapt from the bed and regretted doing so as my head started pounding. I whined, waiting for the feeling to subside, then started after Hidan, cussing and throwing out more threats.

"Wait a sec, you're gay!"

"I'm bi, bitch!"

"Boy, I swear when I get my hands on you, by the time I'm finished with your sorry ass, your head will be in the freezer and the little tiny pieces of your body will be scattered across the backyard!"

Hidan laughed. "Good luck with THAT you crazy asshole!"

I smirked. Bad move on his part. I whipped out a kunai and was about to tackle the dumb bastard when a loud scream, followed by a crash stopped us both dead in our tracks. Looking towards the sound we were silent as Kisame streaked by, Akiko following in hot pursuit with..a spork.

"GET BACK HERE FISHY FISHY FISHY! I JUST WANNA TURN YOU INTO SUSHI!"

"Well. I take it Akiko's up and moving this morning. And hungry."

Hidan laughed nervously, nodding.

Ok, FREEZE-FRAME!

Hey. How's it going. Name's Hanshin, Kagami. 5'6, weight is none of your business, long golden blonde hair, blue eyes. I'll be honest, I'm a full fledged Naru-Tard, and damn proud of it. I'm saving my money up for a cosplay outfit, I have tons of posters, I've seen every episode of Naruto, and I'm working on Shippuden. I'm even madly in love with one of the show's awesomest characters: Uchiha Sauske! HAHA! Yeah right, as if, gag me with a flaming SPORK. Actually, I've fallen for the Uchiha legacy, Uchiha Itachi. Gotta love that guy. Born on June 9th, zodiac sign is a Gemini, and I know almost everything about him. Who knew a single person could contian that much sexy. Insert dreamy fangirl sigh here. Anyway, my bestie, Akiko is also a proud Naru-Tard. 5'4 & 1/2, long, dirty blonde hair, and light brown eyes. We are like two peas in a pod, and such good friends that we're almost like twins! We even have the creepy twin telepathy thing going on, and always have those 'thinking the same thing and saying it out loud simultaniously' moments. We pick on each other constantly, and remind ourselves of Deidara and Tobi. Ah good times.

How we got into this particular predicament, I'm still not too entirely sure about. Perhaps I should start from the begining...

(I'll try to have the first chapter up ASAP!)


	2. Ch 1: Sleepover Gone Wrong

**( I'm so sorry the first chapter took this long. I was only expecting it to be a couple of days, but school and personal matters always find a way to mess things up xP Well its here now! Enjoy!)**

It all started with a sleepover. A simple, normal little sleepover. Well, about as simple and normal as it could possibly be with me and Akiko involved. It was about...1:00 PM, we were outside, and I was chasing Akiko up and down the street with a snow shovel: My revenge for her waking me up by throwing shoes at my face. As you can see, I wasn't too thrilled with this.

"I'm going to kill you with this shovel, then use it to bury you in my backyard, and when it snows and I have to shovel my driveway, I'm going to laugh at you and dance on your grave! HAHAHAHA!"

"Help! Crazy rabbid person!"

"Get back here!"

"Ahhhh!"

Eventually, we both collapsed in the middle of the street, laughing.

"Ok, fine, I won't kill you. This time. But I WILL get you!"

She laughed, mockingly. I narrowed my eyes.

I do not reccomend telling Jashin to beware anything at home. Such acts are incredibly dangerous and who knows where you'll end up. I can not be held responsible for any injuries, dissapearnces, people bursting into flames, travels to other worlds, or anything else that could possibly happen by those stupid enough to ignore my warning.

"Jashin beware, don't MAKE me get the sporks!"

Complete silence, then we busted out laughing. The birds were chirping, two girls with a snow shovel were laying in the middle of the road, nothing dangerous or abnormal here.

That's when the ground started shaking. We both sat bolt upright, eyes wide iwth panic. Earthquake? No. Nothing else seemed bothered. THe birds were still chirping, there were a couple of little kids down the street playing. No houses were crumbling or loosing shingles, no car alarms were going off, nothing. There was a loud ripping sound, and everything went black.

* * *

><p>I don't have the slightest clue how long I was out, but I woke up to somthing being poked into my rib cage. I goraned and sat up. My vision cleared and I saw Akiko standing aobve me, poking me with a stick. At least..I think it was Akiko.<p>

"Akiko, if you would like to have that stick permantly stuck in your ass, please, continue to poke me."

She gulped and tossed the stick aside, laughing nervously. "Love you!"

Yup. Definitely Akiko. I slowly stood up, and looked around. We were in...a forest?

"What the fuck? Where the hell are we?"

I was on the brink of panick. I KNOW there isn't a forest like this where I live. So many questions were whirling through my head. How the hell did we get here, how long have I been out, what's going on..

"Where are your clothes?"

That was another good question. Wait.

"Akiko, please tell me I'm not naked."

"You're not naked."

"Ok..are you lying?"

"No! You have on clothes, they're just weird!"

I looked down, still expecting to be naked, but sure enough, I was fully clothed. In..a skirt. That was the first thing I noticed.

"AH! NO! A SKIRT! HELP! IM DIEING! Oh wait it's a skort.. AH! SKORT! Eh, at least it's a skort..."

Strange, black shoes were on my feet, I recognized them quickly as the kind the Naruto characters wear. Creepy. A black crop top stopped at my ribcage, revealing a red ruby belly button peircing.

"Cool! When did I get that?"

Two silver arm guards covered my arms below the elbows, one weapon pouch on each hip, black, fingerless gloves on my hands, and my hair had grown out and was now tied back in a long braid.

"Akiko, I know where we are!" I gasped as it all settled in.

"That's nice. What's up with your clothes."

I twitched.

"I could ask you the same thing miss nudie!"

"WHAT?"

"Haha made you look dork!"

"Kagami that's mean!"

"Yeah I know. But seriously, what's up with _your_ clothes? And your hair? And eyes?"

She glanced down, and her eyes widened.

Her hair was a bright white colour, the tips of it an icy blue. It was pulled back in two piggy tails that stopped at her shoulders. Her eyes were now a bright, light silver colour, and instead of her jeans, she was now wearing a dress that stopped about her mid thighs. It was a light blue, and the shoulders were left bare, the top parts of the sleeves were dark blue, criss-crossing strings. The sleeves were long and slanted at the ends. Short, dark blue ninja shoes were on her feet.

"Cool! Wait...what about my eyes?"

"They're silver. Mine?"

"A really bright blue!"

"Cool."

"So where are we?"

"Look at the clothes and you tell me."

She thought for a moment.

"Yeah I got nothing."

"The Naruto world dipshit."

"I don't see it."

I twitched, and was about to explode on her when a kunai whizzed past my face.

"Like the flying kunai didn't give it away!" I stated sarcastically. Then I laughed.

"Hey, wouldn't it be funny if we got kidnapped by the akatsuki?"

I Just had to go and say that, didn't I? I was joking! What were the odds that the Akatsuki were actually attacking us? Higher than one would imagine I guess.

The next instant, I was pinned up against a tree, a sharp, metal object pressed against my throat, and blood red eyes staring into my own.

"What do you know of the Akatuski."

The dark, menacing voice sent shivers up my spine. It wasn't a question, it was a demand.

Then, I swear my heart stopped. I recognized that vioce, thsoe eyes, that face! Itachi!

"Nobody pinch me, I'm dreaming."

It was then I realized that along with the kunai, he had a hand on my throat, and it tightened as i ignored his question.

"Tell me what you know of the Akatsuki."

"You know, it's really hard to talk with both a hand and a kunai at your throat."

His grip loosened, but not by much.

"Besides Itachi-Sama.."

Yeah, bad idea. I could hardly breath again as his grip on my windpipe tightened greatly. I would suggest not calling people by name when they haven't introduced themselves yet. Especially if said person or peoples holds your life in their hands. Pretty literally.

"How do you know my name."

More demands.

"W-well it's kinda hard not to. Uchiha, Itachi, S-Ranked criminal form the Hidden Leaf. Killed your whole clan. Except for that little twerp Sasuke.."

Yeah that last part? Bad idea. I was pretty sure my windpipe was going to be crushed, and i was silently begging to be knocked out before he killed me, so I didn't feel any pain. Seconds later, I got my wish and drifted into unconsiousness.

Suddenly, this wasn't very funny anymore.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, who knows how much later, my head was pounding. I groaned and went to put a hand to my head, but something was stopping me. My vision cleared and I looked down to see my wrists tied to a tree. Lovely. At least I was already sitting up. I looked around and, thankfully, saw Akiko tied to a tree the same way, a few feet away from me. Further examination of my new enviroment showed me Itachi, as well as the famous fish man Kisame, sitting by a fire, eating somthing. I noticed it was getting darker out, then my eyes drifted back to the food and my stomach growled. I groaned quietly, but both ninjas didn't hear, or chose to ignore me.<p>

"Helloo!"

They both glanced back at me. Well this was awkward.

"Um..can i have some food?"

They just stared at me and I was about to yell at them when Itachi got up and brought me a rice ball.

"Oh joy. Rice. In ball form."

"You either eat it, or starve."

I chose to eat it. Well, more like have it fed to me. They refused to untie me.

I finished the rice ball and he gave me a drink of water then went back over to the fire. All was quiet and peacful.

For about three seconds.

"Can I come over by the fire? I'm cold!"

"No."

"Aw but Itachi! I'm cold!"

"You're not getting untied. Deal with it."

"I said I'm cold! Do you want me to freeze?"

"If it would get ya to fucking shut up!"

"Be quiet blue fishy man!"

"Kagami, don't egg him on."

"Don't make me freeze my ass off and I won't egg him on. UGLY FISHIE!"

"Be quiet!"

I shut up. For about three seconds.

"UN FUCKING TIE ME OR MOVE THE FUCKING FIRE BASTARD AND ITACHI-SAMA!"

Kisame was about to say somthing when a groan stopped all of us. I looked over at Akiko, to see her waking up. She blinked, looked around, and then screamed. Seconds later, Kisame was by the tree, a hand over her mouth.

"Hey! Dont touch her you bastard! Oh and just a warning, she.."

I didn't get to finish my sentence, because all of a sudden, Kisame yelped and jumped back, and then Akiko started laughing.

"It fucking LICKED me!"

"I tried to warn you ugly fishie. Oh and for the record, she's officially been upgraded froman it to a that. YOu're the it now.o

"Yay I'm not an it any more!"

"I'm going to kill them!"

"Kisame, calm down and feed her."

"What? NO!"

"Feed. Her."

Kisame consented and got a riceball for Akiko. I looked away and started watching Itachi. Just staring at him while he pretended to ignore me.

"I see you itachi!"

"Hn."

Suddenly, he yelped again and I heard Akiko laughing.

"The bitch bit me! I'm going to fucking kill her!"

"Kisame."

"UG!"

"Finish feeding her. And girl, if you bite him again, you'll starve."

"Hey, she has a name ya know!

Akiko heeded Itachi's threat and finished her food without further problems. Kisame returned to the fire.

"Well unlike you, we don't know your names."

"I'm Kagami. She's Akiko."

"Hn."

"You better be nice to her fishie or I'll get you!"

"QUIT CALLING ME FISHIE!"

"WHy? You're a fish!"

"I'm a shark!"

"Sharks are fish!"

"FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD!"

Akiko and I both busted out laughing, leaving Kisame fuming to himself.

"Here's an idea Itachi-San. Let's kill them and forget the headache."

"No."

"Why not!"

"They obviously have quite a bit of useful information. Pein-Sama will be interested to find out what they know."

Kisame grumbled somthing and we fell into silence. After what seemed like hours, I couldn't take it any more.

"Hey Itachi-San! Is your birthday June 9th? Because I think it is."

He looked up at me, his eyes sharingan red.

"And you, fishie! March 18th."

"I see what you mean about the information Itachi-san."

I never learn do I? He got up and headed towards me. I gulped as the end of his sword was right in front of my face.

"How the hell do you know our birthdays."

"I also know that Itachi is a Gemini, and you're a pices! Kinda ironic.."

"Answer the fucking question!"

"It's complicated to explain!"

"I have time, enlighten me!"

WHY did I have to run my mouth? Boredom kills. Literally.

"Kisame put the sword away. It's no use threatning them since we can't kill them."

He growled, but obediently returned to the fire.

"That's a good little fishy! Now sit, stay! Good boy!"

He glared at me but stayed put. I decided it was time to think outside the box of entertainment, and dig up somthing fun for me and annoying for them that hopefully wouldn't get me killed. Suddenly, it came to me.

Perfect!

I grinned, cleared my throat, and started to sing.

"La la la la, la la la la, Elmos world!"

Silence. I looked over at Akiko and we both grinned. I nodded, held up three fingers, counted them down, and we both started singing.

"La la la la, la la la la, Elmos world! La la la la, la la la la, Elmos world! Elmos loves his gold-fish, his cra-yon-s tooooo! Thaaaaats, El-mos, woooooorld!"

Still nothing. So what did we do? We continued to sing, and sing, and sing. The same song. Over, and over and over again.

Finally, Kisame had enough and turned to glare at us. "SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. YOU STUPID. ANNOYING. BITCHES."

"ELMOS FUCKING WORLD UGLY FISHIE!"

HE growled and started to get up.

"Kisame, sit down. Girls, shut up."

Trust me, we did...


	3. Ch 2: Mathematical Equasions and Anbu

**(Yay, second chappie! Not much to say, besides I'm sorry this took so long, and I don't own the anime/manga, or any characters except Kagami, and kinda sorta Akiko..kinda sorta. Enjoy-eth!)**

Early the next morning, too early, I woke up to something, once again, prodding my ribcage. I slowly opened my eyes to see the oh so lovely sight of Kisame, and to hear his rough voice in my ears.

"Get up."

What is with these ninjas and their _DEMANDS?_ I rolled away from him and growled.

"Make me ugly fish face."

I heard him snicker and my eyes popped open. I had_ not_ liked the sound of that. The next minute I found my wrists being tied behind my back, then I was picked up and thrown over a shoulder: Kisame's shoulder.

"OI! PUT ME DOWN _NOW_ FUCK-FACE!" I yelled. Nothing. He just started walking. I looked over to see Akiko giving Itachi hell, then get flung over his shoulder. My best friend over the shoulder of my obsession. Yeah, not happening. I screamed, and just as I planned, I was on my back on the ground, a hand over my mouth. So, I licked it. Yeah, don't lick fish men's hands. Not only do they taste bad, but who knows where they've been! At least it got his hand away from my mouth.

"Itachi carries me or this trip will be hell."

"What? No! I don't want fishie carrying me!"

"Akiko!"

"Alright fine!"

The ninjas exchanged glances, then traded girls. Ah. Much better! Poor Akiko. Oh well!

"Ok. I'll be good...for now." I snickered and Kisame grumbled something under his breath and started walking. Itachi remained as impassive as ever and followed after Kisame wordlessly. I have to admit it was kinda awkward being carried over my obsession's shoulder, not to mention uncomfortable. But hey. At least he wasn't holding onto me very close to my butt. Although I probably wouldn't have complained about that too much. *Insert Crazy Fangirl Giggle Here*

I was so bored just sitting there, and it seemed like we'd been walking for days, although I didn't have to walk which was a plus at least. Akiko and I had tried to engage the ninja in conversation, but they ignored us. So, I decided to try a different tactic.

"Oi, oi! Itachi-Sama! I have a very important math question to ask you!" Akiko giggled; She knew exactly where I was going with this.

"Ok, so if the Tellitubies raped Barney, and Barney gave them HIV, what does Micheal Jackson have?" Silence. I knew they had no clue who the hell I was talking about, but I didn't care.

"Anybody at all who knows the answer can speak up."

More silence. Akiko raised her hand. Well..hands I guess since we were tied up.

"Yes Akiko?"

"Um...Spiderman?"

"...No, that's wrong. The correct answer was Aids."

"OH! Well that makes sense.."

"OK next! If Micheal Jackson has aids, Elmo is a psyco killer, and cookie monster likes to poison children, who will rule the world?"

"SPIDERMAN."

"No Akiko, NOT spiderman! Radio Active Tacos! Let's try another one. If Radio Active spiders are ticklish, then who's bodies are buried in my backyard? Yes Akiko? And I swear if you say spiderman..."

"SPIDAH-MAAAAN!"

"That's it five hours of detention for you! Ok, here's one you should know. If Taylor has $50,000 and Brayan has $0 and two chickens, what does that make Brayan?"1

"Um...lunch?"

"No! Mexican Spider Man!...and an idiot with dinner."

She laughed. "Ok that makes sense."

"Alright, here's another one. If a tree falls in a forest, and nobody is around to hear it, is cookie monster laughing?"

"No, he's screaming in terror because if I hear ONE MORE FUCKING WORD I'M GOING TO KILL HIM AND SHOVE HIM DOWN YOUR THROATS!"

"Wrong Fish-Face! The correct answer was yes, he is laughing because apparently somebody is peeing on him."

Kisame growled and dropped Akiko, then stomped towards me. Well more like Itachi since he was carrying me.

"OH SHIT." I yelped, closing my eyes.

"Kisame calm down." Itachi's voice ripped through the air. I cracked my eyes open to see the living sushi feet away from me, samehada inches away from my face. I sighed with relief as he put away that stupid giant sword of his after he glared at me.

If looks could kill.

Just a little friendly advice from a crazy person: Try not to piss off Fish-Face if you want to keep your face looking better than his.

"That will be quite enough talking from the both of you." Itachi said firmly.

"No promises." I replied casually.

Itachi stopped and looked back at me. It turned my head just enough to see his sharingan eyes staring back at me.

"Alright alright we'll compromise. You let me and Akiko walk, and we'll shut up." He looked at me for a moment longer then nodded and set me gently on my feet. We were untied and after a bit of hesitation, the two nin started walking ahead of us. Akiko and I hugged then started walking behind them, out arms linked together, whispering quietly to each other.

"Now what?"

"Do what they say. There's nothing else to do."

"Maybe if we're really quiet and we walk slower, we'll be able to sneak off."

I shook my head. "That wouldn't work they're ninja's and they're smarter than that. Even if it did work they'd find us in no time, and personally, shoulder isn't comfortable. Besides, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"What being harassed by a couple of crazy people? Oh no I think we'll have plenty of those opportunities."

"No the Akatsuki you idiot! Those two are taking us back to the base! Then we'll get to meet the other members! Hidan, Pein, Konan, Tobi, Deidara, all of them! And we might even get to meet some other ninjas like Garra, or Naruto, or something! I vote we stick with them and see what happens!"

Before she could reply someone came out of nowhere and tackled us. The sound of metal hitting metal reached my ears, and when I dared open my eyes I noticed Itachi standing above me, brushing himself off. He'd saved us from getting killed by another flying kunai. Kisame was in combat with an Anbu, and within seconds Itachi was fighting off a couple of them as well.

"Now Akiko, see what I told you about waiting and seeing what happened? Things are happening."

"I just want you to know that if we die in all this, I hate you."

"Love you too sunshine."

All of the Anbu that Itachi and Kisame killed simply disappeared into a poof of smoke and more Anbu came out of the trees. "Fucking shadow clones." I grumbled, not liking being so helpless at a time like this.

"HELP! WE'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED! HELP! HEL..." I put a hand over Akiko's mouth.

"Shut up! What is WRONG with you?" I hissed, removing my hand form her mouth before she germed up my glove.

"I've seen all I want to see and now I want to get away from these two and find a way home."

"Fine. We'll try to escape. But guess who's never going to get to see _Dei-Dei_?"

She paused and thought for a moment. "Alright fine. We'll stay. But I hate you." I laughed. "Again, love you too sunshine."

"Never mind! Go away!" She called to the anbu. They didn't waver of course.

"Baka. You honestly think that's gonna work?"

"Well it was a worth a TRY."

I yelped as a kunai was coming straight for my neck and put my hands up in front of my face, closing my eyes. It never hit. I looked up to see Itachi standing in front of me.

"Alright I've had ENOUGH of these fucking CLONES!" Kisame growled. "Why don't you come out of your fucking hiding spots you cowards!"

Itachi killed another clone but this time, another didn't come out to replace it. They finished off the rest of the clones and waited. Everything was still until five Anbu jumped out of nowhere and surrounded us.

"Give up Akatsuki. You're coming with us."

"Can I kill these idiots?" Kisame growled.

"No, there's no need for that. Just knock them out."

"Fine. Take away all the fun." Kisame said as his foot came out and slammed into an anbu. It flew back at landed in a tree, slumping to the ground unconscious. I winced as it connected with a sharp crack. Something was broken. Only moments later all five akatsuki were scattered around the little 'battle zone', not moving.

"Are..are they dead?" I whimpered. "No. They'll be fine." Itachi stated. "We're going to have to carry you for now. We have to get out of here quickly."

I groaned. "Ok, but don't throw me over your shoulder again. It's fucking uncomfortable."

Minutes later I found myself red faced, being carried piggy back style. How awkward. But at least I wasn't being carried by Kisame. Poor Akiko. Haha!

"So..how much longer till we get wherever we're going?" I asked wondering how much more of this I'd have to take.

"One day in the least. Two at most."

I groaned. Hopefully, it was only one day.

It was just getting dark when we stopped for camp again. I jumped down from Itachi's back, happy to be free to move again, only to be tied to a tree.

"Oi! Come on! I thought we were starting to understand each other!"

"We're not stupid enough to let you be completely loose at night." Itachi stated simply. "You're stupid for thinking so."

"Ouch that hurt."

"Hn."

I whined and struggled with the ropes. My hands were tied behind my back around a tree. The couldn't reach each other, and couldn't reach my face.

Wow these ninjas thought of everything didn't they? It made me wonder if htey kidnapped random girls often...

They made another little fire but this time, they untied one of each of our hands so we could eat ourselves. I look down at the rice ball I was given and grimaced. "Come on don't you have any instant ramen in those cloaks of yours?" I complained.

"Eat the rice ball or you go hungry."

I sighed and bit into the cursed thing. When I finished eating, I was about to tell them I was done when I realized that I had one free hand, and their backs were turned. I grinned and started to pick at the knot keeping my other wrist in place. Soon, I had managed to work my hand free. Glad to have both hands back, and free movement, I started to get up when both Itachi and Kisame disappeared into smoke.

"Going somewhere?" I heard Kisame growl.

"Oh come on fish-face! I just wanted to sit by the damn fire with you guys!"

"Not happening." Once again I found myself tied ot the tree and the two walked back over to the nice, warm, fire. Damn them.

I was so bored and the two ninjas refused to talk to me, so I did the only thing left to do:

"99.9 bowls of ramen on the wall, 99.9 bowls of ramen! Take one down, don't pass it around, 99.8 bowls of ramen on the wall!"...

In Konoha:

"So the Akatsuki are moving again, then. So close to the village too. Would that mean they're coming after Naruto again?" Tsunade mussed. She shook her head.

"Who were those two girls with them? They weren't registered criminals, or shinobi for that matter, and aren't bijou, so what could they be doing with the Akatsuki?"

It didn't make any sense. One had called for help, then turned around and told the Anbu to go away. A little childish it seemed, but that wasn't the point.

"Your order's Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked.

"Get Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru immediately. They have a new mission."

Shizune nodded and quickly exited the room, leaving Tsunade to herself. Within minutes, the four requested shinobi were in the room, waiting patiently for their orders.

Tsunade was about to find out exactly who these girls were...

**(DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN! Cliff Hanger! Whee!  
>1: Taylor is one of my friends, and Brayan is a jackass who goes to my school. He's my besties neighbor and he has chickens.<br>**** Again I'm really sorry for the wait on this chapter, I wasn't planning on making it this long but I kind forgot about it. *sweatdrops* Just a heads up, My main focal point right now is on my Yaoi, White Rabbit so updates for this story won't be as often, but I will still be posting every now and then. Hope you enjoyed, and don't be shy to Review!)**


	4. Ch 3: Itachi's Perverted side? Arrival

**(Sorry this took so long, again! I've had alot going on and laziness has been a problem too. But it's up now! I went through the previous chapters and fixed typos and made a couple of changes. I removed Sai from the last chapter, replacing him with Shikamaru because he doesn't fit in with where I want the timeline to be at. Please enjoy!)**

* * *

><p>Akiko had started singing with me and the ninjas had ended up having to knock us out to get us to stop singing that night. Another early morning wake up call landed Kisame on the ground holding his family jewels. Guess who's not a morning person?<br>Me.  
>We had another rice ball breakfast which I was so joyful over, not, and then we started walking again. They let Akiko and I walk on our own, to my relief. I dont' like being carried over a shoulder. And it's hard to watch Itachi if he's carrying you.<p>

Well, boredom set in quickly so I decided to pick up the song where I left off. At 50.26.

Akiko joined me and 15 minutes later we were still singing.

"32.65 bowls of ramen on the wall, 32.65 bowls of ramen! Take one down, don't pass it around, 32.64 bowls of ramen on the wall!"

I had made this song so much better, and so much more annoying then it should have been by going down in decimals. There were now 99 more bowls of ramen on the wall per number. It was amazing my song had lasted this long! We were about to start the next verse when Kisame interrupted us with his own singing. Now I probably would have been thrilled with this if he was singing the same song as us, but of course, downer fish wasn't.

"2 dead female bodies on the wall, 2 dead female bodies! If you two don't shut the fuck up in the next 2.57 seconds there will be two dead unrecognizable female bodies on the wall!"

"That's not how the song goes! Here, let me show you again! 32 point s.."

"NO! SHUT UP NOW! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"Kisame calm down."

"I can't take it anymore!"

Kisame growled, pulling out his sword and rushing towards me. I froze and squeezed my eyes shut, positive that I was going to die now. I waited for the impact, but it never came.  
>When I finally dared to crack open an eye, I was relieved to see Kisame on the ground, itachi hovering over him bending one of the shark man's arm up behind his back, samehada three feet in front of the giant Sushi.<p>

"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear earlier, Kisame. You are not to injure them."

The stupid fish nodded meekly and Itahci released him, then turned to us.

"And as for the two of you, I must advise you to Shut. Up. Now."

And believe me, we did. Again. Because as hot and sexy as Itahci is, he can be DAMN scary.

Itachi's Thoughts: 

Those girls were more than a handful. I pity the parents of those two. Or maybe the parents are the ones to blame? Either way, they're crazy.

The things they say, do, and know...where did they even get that information? How did they get it? And I don't believe I've ever seen someone who's been able to irritate Kisame that much in that way. Of course, most people are usually intimidated by us and trying to stay alive, so singing songs is not something they usually do.

Or ever do, for that matter.

But I suppose there's a first experience for everything right?

I can't even begin to imagine the havoc they will cause at the base. There's something about them, especially that one girl, Kagami. She knows more than the other. At least, she says more. The things she's told us, well not much besides our birthdays, the organizations name, and something about Sauske, but still, it concerns me. What else does she know? I'd like to know what all information she has on the other members, and what Pein-Sama will think about all this.

I'm on my toes trying to keep them hold of them, and keeping Kisame from brutally murdering them.

All I know is, all of this trouble had better be worth it in the long run...

Normal POV:

We continued walking and a few hours later of doing nothing but Akiko and I being quiet and whispering back and forth, and practically stalking Itachi, believe it or not, I was bored.

"Hey itachi!"

He ignored me.

"ITachi! Itaaaaaachiiiii! I-TA-CHI-SA-MA! Itachi-Sama!"

Still nothing.

"...WEASEL!"

That earned me a glare. I grinned.

"Weasel! Weasel weasel weasel weasel weasel weasel we-"

"What do you want?"

He gritted out.

"HI!"

I giggled and he rolled his eyes, looking away from me.

I was silent again for about two seconds.

"Hey! Are we there yet?"

"Does it look like we're there."

I shrugged.

"I don't know what the base looks like. for all I know, the Akatsuki could be nothing more than a neighborhood bully alliance who's head-quarters is in a tree house!"

Itachi gave me a very strange look but said nothing. I glanced over at Kisame to see him limping lightly. I must have hit him hard this morning! Awesome.

"Are we there now? How about now? Now? And now?...Now? Are we there...now? Now now now? How about now? Now now now now now now now now now now...now now now now now now now now now now now now now no-"

"Oh my fucking kami shut the fuck up!"

"No need to shout fish-face."

I glanced over at Akiko who was very quiet. Too quiet. That meant she was either terrified, or planning something.

Without me.

How dare she!

"Akiko!"

I hissed, stepping a little closer to her.

"Are you plotting or thinking e-vile things without meeee?"

She looked at me and grinned.

"Gasp! Well let me in on it!"

"Oh it's nothing really. I was just thinking about how much fun it's gonna be when we get there and meet Tobi!"

I grinned evilly.

"That's gonna be awesome!"

The only problem was, Tobi meant Sasori was dead. Unless of course he was just there as an underling, which was hopefully the case. Sasori dieing meant I had already failed the mission I made for myself in my mind: Keep the akatsuki members alive, while also preventing them from killing any more jinchuriki, or other innocent people. I had no clue if i could do it or not, but I was sure as hell gonna try.

Anyway, I couldn't help but laugh evilly at the thought of how much trouble we were gonna cause with the masked crazy person, which earned me a terrified look from Kisame, and a quizzical look from Itachi.

"Sorry!"

I smiled sweetly.

"I had moment there!"

"I'm sure."

Itachi said simply, looking away from me. Kisame rolled his eyes. Little did I knwo that the stupid fish wasn't thinking about us meeting Tobi. He was thinking up all of the fun ways to kill us, and how he was only going to pick two.

A little while later, ITachi stopped suddenly. "Kisame. We're almost there."

The sharkie grinned nodded, because this was the part where they got to tie us up and blindfold us. I didn't like the creepy grin on his face, so when he came towards me I couldn't help myself.

"Help! Rape!"

"Hey, there's an idea!"

Knowing Kisame, it wouldn't surprise me if he was dead serious.

"Bad rapist fish! Back! Back I say!"

I hissed, starting to back up.

"Kisame cut it out!"

Itachi barked.

"What? It's an idea! And you honestly think I'm gonna try to rape her here?"

"Wait..HERE?"

I yelped.

"The more you scare them the harder this is going to be on us."

The Uchiha ignored me, replying to Kisame cooly.

"Fine. Take away all the fucking fun."

"I don't think it would be very 'fun' to rape someone. You would think it would be much more enjoyable if both parties were willing." He sighed, pushing kisame away from me, heading towards me himself. Kisame snickered.

"And the Emotionless Uchiha reveals his perverted side."

Akiko was laughign her ass off right about now.

"What part of that was perverted? It's the truth isn't it?"

"It's not somthing I would have ever expected you to think about, let alone come out of your mouth!"

Kisame was laughing now too.

"Just because I don't talk about sex all of the time like you, doesn't mean I don't think about these things. I am a man after all."

It was dead silent for three seconds before both Kisame and Akiko were doubled over on the ground, laughing so hard they could barely breathe. My jaw dropped.

Well that had been unexpected.

"I-itachi-sama?"

I stammered.

He blinked and looked over at me for a moment, before looking away again.

"Hn."

Kisame adn Akiko were still laughing. I little irritated, I walked over to kisame, and kicked him. HARD. You know where.

Suddenly, he wasn't laughing anymore.

"WHy don't you just shut up fish face! You don't even look HUMAN and ouy say and htinks things way worse than that! So shut your filthy trap!"

Itachi glanced over at me, his face emotionless, but our eyes met for a brief moment and his contained a hint of suprise and amusement.

"Get up Kisame. We're on a deadline and we have to hurry and get back to the base. Quit fooling around."

Kisame's jaw dropped and I giggled.

"Ugly just got told!"

"U-G-L-Y you aint got no alibi!"

I laughed.

"Akiko, I swear, the stuff that runs through your mind."

Kisame was completely silent as he pulled himself off of hte ground.

"I'll go ahead and tie up the girls since you seem fully uncapeable."

"Fishy got told again!"

"F-I-SH-Y! You ain't got no alibi!"

"Really Kiko?"

"Really."

"Ok then. Anyway, if Kisame comes anywhere near me with rope, it would be the last thing he ever did as a man. Oh look! He just turned a lighter shade of blue!"

It was true. The giant sushi's face had paled, leaving him a light shade of blue. He glared at me but said nothing.

Minutes later, they had tied our hands behind our backs, tieing pieces of cloth over our eyes so we couldn't see. Itachi slung me over his shoulder, meaning Akiko was being carried by Kisame. Again. I did feel bad for her, but so long as it wasn't me!

I'm sure she'll make me pay for this later.

"Ya know, you could at LEAST carry me in a more comfortable position! Shoulder is painful!"

"You shoulda covered their mouths Itachi-San."

"You should cover your face!"

"OI! Shut your mouth before I cut that toungue of yours out of it!"

"Calm down Kisame."

"Haha! Looser!"

"Be quiet girl."

"Damn."

"Haha! He called you girl!"

"Akiko I swear when I get out of this I'm going to hang you upsidedown from the ceiling by your toes!"

"Shutting up now."

"Smart."

"You should follow your friend's example and shut the fuck up."

"Take your own advice ugly fish man! Hey, that could be a super hero!"

"I have an idea. How about the next person to talk gets their voice box cut out."

Everybody shut up. Nobody knew if hte Uchiha was serious or not, and we really didn't want to find out.

"Oi! Where the fuck have you dickwads been? Pein-Sama was about to send me and Kakuzu after you!"

those were the first words I heard when we got inside the base. They could belong to only one person.

"we ran into some...complications."

"I don't give a fuck! Y...what's up with the bitches?"

"Open your ears baka! These were the complications!"

"Fuck you Kisame!"

"You'd like that wouldn't you? Well I don't swing that way. Like most normal men, I only like women."

"Don't lie to yourself Kisame!"

"Shut up you little bitch!"

"Itachi-Sama! Ugly Fish Man called me a bitch!"

"I think I like this bitch!"

"Why does everybody keep calling me a bitch?"

"Come on Kisame, we have to report to Pein-Sama. Let's hurry before he gets even angrier."

"Yeah yeah."

"Bye Hidan-Baka! I'll be back to give you hell when I'm not tied up!"

I was really wishing I wasn't still blindfolded. Oh the money I would pay to see the look on Hidan's face!

"I don't remember anybody saying my name..so how would she know?" Hidan mussed, a little weirded out. He shrugged and headed to his room to do who knows what, since he didn't have a misison anymore.

Itachi jostled me and I yelped, but shut up. He didn't do or say anything else, so I was assuming that's what he wanted me to do.

Moments later, I heard a knock on the door and a not too pleasant sounding voice telling us to, "get your asses in here.". Soon, my feet were planted firmly on the ground, much to my delight, and my blindfold was removed. My eyes wandered around the room, looking at Akiko who had been set down and un-blindfolded as well, before they settled on a very pissed off looking figure sitting behind a desk, holding his hands up in front of his face much like sasuke always did.

Pein.

"WOAH DUDE. Awesome peircings! You've GOTTA tell me where you had those done!"

Itachi jabbed me in the kidneys and I squeaked and shut up. My kidneys are my weak point.

Stupid Uchiha.

Ah but i love him!

"Itachi, please, enlighten me. What is this?"

"September 19th."

I decided save Itachi a bit of explanation time.

"Excuse me?"

"You were born September 19th, Pein."

He stared at me for a moment.

"How do you know that."

More demands. Damn.

"I really can't explain it. I could tell you alot of other things about yourself, but I don't know how much hottie and fish-face over here know. I'd hate to get them in trouble."

Itachi said nothing at my comment, and Kisame glared at me.

"...Itachi."

"Hai, Leader-Sama. We found them on our way back. Their names are Kagami and Akiko. They were talking about the orginization and told us some things about ourselves as well. This one anyway. The other hasn't said much."

"Unicorns exist! I have three and two sevenths of them!"

"Except for things like that."

"Akiko...How can you have three and two sevenths unicorns? It's like..saying you want the average amount of children families have: 2.3!"

"Well it's a baby unicorn! And it's not born yet! So it's only 2/7 of a unicorn!"

"Oh I think I get it!"

"Enough!"

Pein barked, looking up at Itachi and Kisame.

"So you brought me two crazy girls who know the name of a widely known criminal organization, two widely known criminals in the organization, their birthdays, and somehow know the name and birthday of the leader of the organization. I beleive you've wasted your time."

"Nagato."

Pein went silent.

"What did you just say?"

"Yahiko."

"How do you.."

"Konan."

"Wha-"

"World domination, I believe that's your goal is it not? Peace through violence, a new life through death, remaking the world in your own image. Must I say more?"

He was silent for a long time, just staring at the two of us. Itachi and Kisame's eyes were wide, both wondering the same thing: What did those names mean, and how were they connected to Pein? Especially since Konan-Chan's was one of them.

He was silent for awhile ebfore looking up at Itachi.

"The two of you are dismissed. I'll call you in later to give your mission report."

Itachi and kisame both nodded and left quickly.

"What else do you know."

"Besides what I've told you, and Itachi and Kisame's names and birthdays, I know the names and birthdays of all your other members, and one underling."

/I even know who's under the mask./ But I didn't say it outloud.

"First up, is Sasori of the Red Sand. Turned himself into a puppet. Born on November 8th. Next, his partner Deidara. A terrorist bomber, believes art is fleeting unlike the puppet, and he was born May 5th. Kakuzu has five hearts, each with a different element. He won't die unless all five hearts were killed. Loves money. Born August 15. His partner Hidan is a Jashinist, immortal, and extreme potty mouth. Born April 2nd. Zetsu is your spy, he likes to eat people, he talks to himself, and he was born...well...I couldn't find that for some reason...anyway, then there's your partner Konan, who uses origami. She was born February 20th. Then the underling, Tobi..hm..I wonder who could possibly be hiding under that little mask of his? Anyway..I don't really know WHAT jutsu he has..he's a differento ne alright, but he was born December 24th. And then you. You use six other bodies and gravity. And I already told you your birthday."

He was completely silent as he took in all of what I just told him.

"What do you know about the jinchuriki?"

And I didn't see that one coming..why? I don't know. But I shoulda seen it coming.

"Not much. Only that you capture them, and extract their tialed beasts, killing them in the process. You plan to use the beasts for your world domination plans or whatever. I don't know much else about them. I was more interested in the Akatsuki. I mean come on, and orginization full of hot men? And...a couple of weirdos..and one girl..and you...although you're not too bad looking I guess." I shrugged. "I quite like the akatsuki. Except for the whole murdering jinchuriki thing and stuff.."

He was silent for ahwile longer, and we had a short stare down. I was really hoping that my eyes weren't betraying hte fact that I was lying about the jinchuriki. Actually..theo nly one that I knew much about was Naruto, but he was the main character of the whole series, so that's understandable.

"And how, may I ask, did you come across all of this information?"

"I just asked around. Pieced together the information I got. I looked up some well known criminals and managed to figure out who all was part of the Akatsuki. It wasn't too hard being as notorious as you all are. And your pasts helped as well."

More lies: It's called Google! And..obsession...

We waited for him to say something, but he just sat there for awhile, creepily staring at us. Finally, he spoke.

"You don't seem to have very useful information for me, but hten again, I don't know what else you know. However, I can't simply let oyu leave, granted the information you have on my orginization. Considering neither of you appear to have any chakra, I don't think you'll be much of a physical threat...you'll never be allowed to leave here, unless accompanied by other members, or we're throwing your dead bodies out. I'm not going to have you locked up being I don't consider you a threat, however any escape attempts will bring serious consequenses on you. Consider yourselves lucky that I'm being quite leniant with you."

I blinked, a little astonished that he wasn't going to kill us or lock us up or somthing. Which worked well for us anyway. I would have DIED if we would have been locked up like prisoners.

"Sounds good to me. I've always wanted to meet you guys! Can we go now, though? Cause I've got an Uchiha to stalk, and an immortal to piss off..."

He sighed, and I'm pretty sure he was starting to realize that he'd just taken on more work than he'd ever imagined we would be.

"Zetsu!"

Moments later, the plant man practically materialezed from the floor, startling both me and Akiko.

"You called, Pein-San?"

"We have some guests. Find them a room, then show them around to meet the other members. They'll be with us for a very long time."

"Of course, Pein-San. Since theres two, might I eat one? They look delicious. Now let's not firghten them too much."

"AWESOME. Split personalitied PLANT MAN! Dun dun dun dun! oyu could be some kind of super villan!"

"Kagmai..I think he already is!"

"Oh..good point!"

We followed Zetsu out the room and down the hall. We hadn't gotten very far when Hidan came barreling down the hallway, somthing square and brown in his hands. He was laughing crazily and didn't even stop to look at us.

"Hidan! Get back here! I swear I'm going to kill you one of these days!" Kakauzu came dashing after the immortal.

"It would appear Hidan is trying to relieve Kakuzu-San of his wallet again."

"Wallet? MONEY? HIDAN! WIAT UP! I WANT SOME OF THE PROFIT!"

I shouted, started to run after him. Zetsu grabbed hold of my shoulder.

"It's best oyu not get involved. Kakuzu will kill you before you even knew what hit you. Perhaps we should let her go? I'm getting hungry and she does look quite delicious."

"Don't start with me, or I'll turn you into a salad!"

Zetsu blinked, but said nothing and started walking again.

"Here's your room. I'll give you girls a moment to look around, and then I must continue showing you around the base. Hate for you to get lost." This time, black Zetsu didn't have anything to add.

It was a nice room. Pretty big. Two closets, two desks, two dressers, and two beds, complete with a bathroom.

"All partners share a room. The other rooms look rather similar to this. It's just one bathroom per room, btu we do have a larger bathroom complete with showers in another part of the base. Use it as you need. But be careful, the only other girl around here is Konan-San, and I wouldn't put it past most of the members to peek."

Akiko and I looked at each other and shuddered.

"Follow me please."

We turned and left the room, heading down the hallway further. There were quite a few rooms for different purposes, along with members bedrooms, and plenty more empty bedrooms.

"Oi, Zetsu-San! What's up with the girls, yeah?"

Akiko and I both looked up to see the hot blonde walking towards us. Akikos' face instantly flushed. I grinned.

"Hey what's up Barbie Girl?"

"Girl...OI! I'm a MAN!"

"Yeah yeah, I know Deidara. But something tells me you WISH you were a woman!"

"WHAT? Oi..wait..how do you know..."

"SENPAI!"

"Hn? No! No no Tobi stop! STOP! Tobi! Ahhhh!"

Akiko and I both winced as the masked man tackled the poor terrorist bomber, and then I busted out laughing.

"Hi Senpai!"

"Tobi is most definitely a good boy!"...

* * *

><p><strong>(So there you have it! Next chapter, Tobi and the girls! DUN DUN DUN! Oh those poor other members. x3 Please, please review! I always love getting your feedback! I'll really try to have the next chapter up alot sooner then this one, I promise! Tata for now!)<strong>


	5. Ch 4: Tobi

**((Hey guys! Next chappie is here with a little change. I'm switching the point of view because my best friend has brought it to my attention that her character seems more like a side character, and I don't want that. So, from here on out, normal POV is third person! :) I'm sorry for the really long wait. I know I say this every time, but I have a valid excuse this time! School started and I've been really busy with that and family stuff. So I don't know if the next update will be any sooner than this one, and I'm not gonna make any promises on when it will be out. I'm really sorry guys. :/ Well, Please enjoy!))**

"How do you know that Tobi is a good boy?"

Zetsu asked, turning to look at Kagami. She blinked.

"I stalk you guys."

Zetsu and Deidara both stared at her.

"So pretty girl-chan thinks that Tobi is a good boy?"

The masked man asked excitedly, jumping off of the poor blond boy.

"Of course! I can tell by looking that Tobi is a very good boy!"

"Tobi likes this pretty girl-chan! What is pretty girl-chan's name?"

"Oh you can keep calling me pretty. I like that!"

"You..stalk us, yeah?"

"Well I started stalking Itachi, but then I decided to stalk all of you guys, just for fun!"

"Why the hell would you want to stalk Uchiha?"

"He's hot."

"...You're kidding right?"

"Not at all."

Deidara was looking fairly disturbed by now.

"So...what's up with them?"

He asked Zetsu.

"They're our guests. Itachi and Kisame found them on their way back. Since they have a lack of chakra and an excess of information on the organization, they will be staying here."

"Information, yeah?"

"Like your birthday Barbie! May 5th! An Espanol holiday!"

"A..what? And how do you know that?"

"I laugh at you!"

"Huh?"

"You got your butt kicked by Itachi. LOL!"

"lol? and..how do you know that?"

Oh now he was getting pissed. This was fun!

"I told you idiot. I stalk you! Are you deaf? Or just overly blond?"

"You're blond too!"

"Yeah but I think you're blonder. And stupider."

"Why you..!"

"What's all the..oh no..."

Kisame walked out of a room, saw us, saw Tobi, saw Tobi with us, turned a lighter shade of blue, and walked back into the room.

"OI! FISHY! Get back here! I just wanna annoy you to the point of my near death!"

I dashed over to the door and tried to open it, finding it locked.

"I'll break the door down! Akiko! Come kick it with me! Akiko?"

I glanced back at my friend so see her standing there, face crimson, staring at Deidara.

"Oh this is too good."

Akiko's POV:

I knew the second those word were out of her mouth, that Kagami was three seconds away from embarrassing the shit out of me.

Pardon my French.

Where did that even come from? Did cuss words start in France or something?

Anyway, that's not the problem here.

For starters, I haven't properly been introduced in this little story.

I'm Akiko. Of course, you probably already knew that, but still.

To be quite honest, I'm having a hard time believing that this is actually happening. I mean, I've had some pretty weird dreams before. For example, I had a dream about gay penguins.

Yeah. Beat that.

Anyway, I have completely convinced myself that this is nothing more than a crazy ass dream. Even knowing this, I can't help but go all shy fan girl when I see Deidara.

I mean come on. He's totally hot.

Please don't tell Kagami I said that.

Where was I? Oh right.

So the second those words came out of Kagami's mouth, I knew I was about to be completely embarrassed.

Or humiliated. That might be a better word.

"NOT A SINGLE WORD KAGAMI!"

"Woooah what's in your panties?"

"Shut up!"

My face was scarlet red as all attention was suddenly on me, due to my little random outburst.

Little random outburst that didn't have to do with something totally stupid. Was it just me, or have I said nothing intelligent the entire time I've been here?

Well, not too surprising. Like I said, I've had really weird dreams.

Anyway, all attention was on me, and my face heated up more than it already was.

"Um..I think she's having a hard time breathing. DEIDARA! PERFORM CPR! Don't be afraid to use tongue!"

"What, why me? And...what?"

I think now he was just confused.

"KAGAMI!"

"Can I help you with something?"

"Shut up!"

"You're the one talking!"

I twitched.

"I'm gonna kill you if you say anything else!"

"About what? OH! You mean about you having this HUGE crush on DEI-DA-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Oh shit..."

Kagami took off running down the hall, and for a very good reason, because I was chasing her.

"Run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me cause I'm just awesome!" She shouted over her shoulder.

"That's a lie!"

"OI!"

I giggled.

"I'll kill you for that!"

"Not if I kill you first!"

Can you feel the sisterly love?

Normal POV:

Zetsu, Deidara, and Tobi watched as the two girls dashed off down the hall.

"Um..shouldn't you go after them, yeah?"

"I don't feel like it. **Maybe if we wait, one will kill the other. Or perhaps they'll kill each other. That would be a nice meal.** On second thought, maybe I should go after them. Although a nice meal doesn't sound half bad."

"Tobi will be a good boy and stop the girl-chan's from killing each other!"

The masked man said, dashing off after them.

"Well that solves that problem, yeah."

When Tobi finally caught up with the two girls, he was a little surprised to find them not killing each other. Instead, they had met Sasori and were currently, 'Interrogating' the poor puppet.

"Can I call you Pinocchio?" Kagami was saying.

"Does your nose grow when you lie?" Akiko had chimed in.

"Have you ever been inside a whale?"

"Do crickets talk to you?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Where did you even come from?"

"Ah ah ah! We'll be asking the questions here Mr. Pinocchio!"

"Oh, Sasori-San! You found the Pretty-Girl-Chans!"

"The..what?"

"We refuse to tell him our names because we like to be called pretty!" Kagami replied honestly.

"Where did you even come from?"

"The Academy of Criminal Stalking!" It appeared that Akiko had completely forgotten about what Kagami had been saying earlier.

"Huh?"

"We were their finest students!" Kagami boasted.

"Tobi, explain."

"Well, Tobi would love to tell Sasori-San, but Tobi doesn't exactly know why the pretty-girl-chans are here!"

"Names."

Neither of the girls said anything.

"Well?"

They were both staring at the redhead intently.

"What the hell are you staring at?"

"We're trying to wear your patience!"

"Oh, that's a good idea Akiko! I was just staring at his hair..it's so RED!"

Sasori sweat dropped. Well not really. He's a puppet, so he can't really do that. "Um.."

"Just ignore them, Sasori-San. They're nothing more than a nuisance that we're going to have to deal with for awhile."

Kagmai looked up at the Uchiha's voice and practically materialized next to him.

"Oh Itachi-Dear! I missed you! Did you miss me? I bet you did!"

"Itachi-Dear?"

"Don't ask me."

Itachi said, his voice and face void of all emotions as usual as he tried to pry Kagami from his side.

"So...what's up with them?"

"Kisame and I found them. Unfortunately."

"Ouch...that one kinda hurt Itachi-Sama!" Kagmai whined.

"Hn."

"And you felt the need to keep them...why?"

"They know alot."

"Apparently..."

After finally managing to pry Kagami off of him, Itachi left without another word.

"There goes the sexiest man alive."

"What are you talking about? I'm right here, yeah."

Deidara said with a sly grin.

"Oh gross."

Kagami made a face.

"He speaks the truth..."

Akiko muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Liar!"

"I didn't say anything!"

"Yes you did!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did NOT!"

"Did TOO!"

"shut up!"

"Make me!"

"Well, good luck zetsu-san. I'm out of here."

"...Good luck Tobi. **I'm leaving as well."**

"Oh..ok! Tobi will watch the pretty-girl-chans."

Akiko and Kagami stopped arguing, looked at each other, and grinned.

Big mistake!

_3 hours later:_

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

Kagami, Akiko, and Tobi giggled and Hidan stormed past their hiding place, clueless as to where they were.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE FUCKING BITCHES! I'M GONNA KILL THEM!"

The immortal was steaming mad, but it was hard to take him seriously with a pink Sharpie mustache, bright eye make up, drawn on with sharpie, an L on his forehead, also sharpie, and Kagami, Akiko, and Tobi were here on his cheeks.

"What the hell are you complaining about no-"

Kisame turned the corner, took one look at Hidan, and busted out laughing.

"OI shut the fuck up!"

Kisame kept laughing.

"Stupid ugly fish!"

"Oh screw you ahaha! that's...you got...OWNED! Ahahaha!"

Growling, Hidan stalked past Kisame, set on finding the three culprits.

Trying hard not to laugh, Kagami motioned her two side kicks out from behind the couch and they slipped off to another hiding place.

"OI! Itachi! Where the fuck is your fucking girlfriend and her stupid little bitch friend!"

Oh it was on now.

"Well for one she' not-"

"His fucking girlfriend is right behind oyu and is pissed off! NObody talks that way about her stupid little bitch friend except for her!"

Hidan whirled around.

"You are SO fucking DE-HOLY SHIT!"

Within seconds Hidan was doubled over on the floor, holding his groin.

"Get some!"

"Kagami-Chan, you're not-"

"Nobody can talk that way about me but YOU? Oh that's lovely Kagami. Really lovely."

"But I'm your best friend, and you know I'm kidding, so it's ok!"

Akiko rolled her eyes. Tobi was the next to come out of hiding.

"That was fun! Tobi wants to do it again!"

"Oh don't worry, we will!"

"Oh no you fucking won't!"

"Watch us pervert!"

Itachi rolled his eyes and walked on. There was no point even trying to tell Kagmai that he wasn't her anything, but she wouldn't listen, set in her own ideas.

He headed towards his room to get some peace and quiet. But when he walked in, he saw one of the strangest, and probably most terrifying things he had ever seen in his room.

On one side, Kisame's side, there were fish skeletons everywhere, and he could only imagine what kind of traps they'd set up for the fish-man.

On the other side of the room, his side, there were pink paper hearts everywhere.

And he meant, everywhere.

The bed, the walls, the floor, the ceiling, his dresser, closet door, everywhere. And each heart said something on it.

"Will you marry me?"

"I won't stop bugging you until you agree to marry me."

"Let's make out!"

"I would do anything for you. ANYTHING. wink wink."

And so on and so forth.

He sighed and walked over ot his closet, opening it up to find the same thing. Every droor of his dresser had a box of chocolates, and more hearts. He only had one way to describe Kagami:

This girl, was fricking insane...

**((again, I'm really sorry about the wait on this, and the shortness! School has started and its been CRAZY! I really should be working on my homework right now, but im not. : / Also, I'm kinda lossing inspiration for this story too, and that hasn't helped. I'm going to try and push through it though. I really don't want to stop a story like this, so I'm gonna try, but just be warned that the updates won't be too incredibly often, so I hope ya'll have more stories to read and other things to do. They'll probably be kinda short too, but hopefully my writers block will clear soon. : / thanks for reading, and please review!))**


	6. Ch 5: Super Shrinks!

**((First off: Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New year! Second: I. Am. SO. Sorry! I can't believe it took me this long xP And the updates for this story probably aren't going to be any quicker anytime soon. I'm really loosing inspiration for this, but I'm trying to keep it going. **

**This is just a warning: There's a little mild, (and by mild, I mean mild. REALLY mild, which is surprising for me o.o) yaoi in this chapter. It starts a little bit after the third line for those who want to skip it. But why would you want to do that? O: (seriously its really mild =_=') ))**

* * *

><p>It had taken Itachi few hours to clean out all of the hearts. They were EVERYWHERE. A few had even fallen out of his boxers when he went to put them on. He had hoped that they were all gone, but every day when he got back from training there were scattered around his room. The girls had only been there for a few days and already they had managed to piss just about everybody in the organization off in a number of ways. Kakuzu, Hidan, and Kisame aren't allowed to be alone with the girls any more because they'd almost murdered Kagami and Akiko on a number of occasions for a number of reasons, such as Kakuzu about to rip their throats out after they had managed to set the kitchen on fire while making a bowl of cereal.<p>

No joke.

Itachi didn't know how they did it, but Tobi, who had unfortunately become their baby sitter, was saying something about matches and lighter fluid. That sounded like one strange breakfast to the Uchiha.

The Akatsuki hadn't been too successful in getting any information out of the girls, as to what village they came from and how far away it was. It was pretty clear that they weren't spies though.

The girls insisted that they weren't from any village, and denied even being from this world, even though they knew a whole alot of information that the Akatsuki members just didn't understand how they would have learned if they weren't from this world.

The strangest thing about them though was the people and things they talked about that they claimed were from 'their world.' They were either the greatest liars alive, or they were telling the complete truth.

Either way, Itachi was starting to wish that they could return the girls to whatever weird planet they came from and end the nightmare.

"Itachi-Sama. Itachi-Sama. Itachi-Sama. Why are you ignoring me? Don't ignore me! I know you can hear me! Itachi-Sama! Itachi-Sama! Itachi-Sama!"

After listening to this for three straight hours, it was a miracle that the Uchiha hadn't lost his mind.

"You can't ignore me forever. Itachi-Sama. Itachi-Sama. Itachi-Sama. I will annoy you to the end of time. Itachi-Sama. I-ta-chi-Sa-Ma. Itachi-Samaaaa."

For a few, precious seconds, she was silent.

"WEASEL. WEASELWEASELWEASEL...OH LOOK! SASUKE! Ok you're pretty good...Itaaaaaachiiiiiiiii."

Itachi was honestly about to snap. Kagami. In half.

"Tobi, would you _please_ take the girls somewhere _else_?"

"But..pretty girl-chans wanted to come see Itachi-San!"

"Well Itachi-San is busy and would really prefer not to have his personal space invaded."

Yep. Tobi had brought both Kagami and Akiko into he and Kisame's room. While akiko was vandalizing Kisame's portion of the room, Kagami was pestering Itachi and every time she said his name, she dropped another heart somewhere in his room. Itachi had never been more irritated in his entire life.

"Tobi. _Please_."

"Does Kagami-Chan want to leave?"

"No."

"Akiko-Chan?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm only HALF done!"

"Sorry Itachi-San! Pretty girl-chans stay!"

Three seconds later Itachi had gracefully dragged Kagami and Akiko out of his room, immediately locking the door.

"You big meanie!" Kagami hollered.

"So what do pretty girl-chans want to do now?"

Kagami and Akiko both fell silent for a moment.

"I dun know..what's there to do around here that's new?"

"Well...usually the members train, or work with their weapons...Deidara-Senpai works with his art when he's bored.."

"That is SO boring. We need to spicen up things around here!"

"Oh no you don't." Kakuzu growled as he walked past. "I'm still paying for the kitchen repairs after you decided to 'spicen up' breakfast."

"KUZU!" Kagami shouted gleefully, tackling the man, trying to make him give her a piggy back ride.

"Get. Off. Of. Me. And for the last time, don't call me that!"

"No!"

She giggled.

"Tobiiiii."

Tobi sweatdropped. "Ah..Tobi will give pretty girl-chan a ride!"

"But I want Kuzu to give me a ride!"

"Tobiiiiii!"

"K-kagami-chan, maybe-"

"Say, Kuzu, wheres your boyfriend? I'm kinda surprised you're not in your room right now laying into him nice and-"

"I don't HAVE a boyfriend!"

"Yes you do! Or is Hidan really a girl? Omg I had no idea..did he..she..have plastic surgery to get rid of his..her...chest? cause there are NO scars."

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"Oh right sorry sorry. Fiance!"

"What? NO."

"So...he's just your fu-"

"TOBI GET IT OFF OF ME RIGHT NOW BEFORE I KILL IT."

"It? How dare you! You look more like an it than me tentacle man! Hmph! Why I oughta."

Kagami whined, releasing the irritated miser, who was quick to walk away.

"Oi, Tobi! Have you seen that bastard Kis- oh shit." Hidan took one look at the girls and turned to hurry away.

"PINK EYE!" Kagami and Akiko shouted together, glomping the poor immortal.

"Get the fuck off of me!"

"Beep."

"What?"

"Huh? Whatever. Hi Kakuzu's slave!"

That was another thing about the girls that irritated the crap out of the akatsuki members: They liked to talk about gay guys, Kagami especially, and Hidan and Kakuzu were their favorite candidate for, 'Akatsuki's gayest partners.'

"I am NOT that douche bags slave!"

"Beep."

"Stop that!"

"Stop what? Gee...Kakuzu didn't lay into you hard enough last night or something? You seem moody."

"Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch!"

"Beep beep."

"Would you knock that off?"

"Knock what off? I think you're schizophrenic."

"Ponies!"

"TOBI! Get these motherfucking bitches the fuck off of me!"

"Beep Beep Beep!"

"STOP IT! TOBIIIII!"

Itachi was seriously contemplating if asking Leader to sound proof the walls was worth the argument with Kakuzu.

* * *

>After finally being detached from Hidan, the girls had dragged poor Tobi throughout the base, searching for something to do. In only a few short days, the girls had managed to be banned from the kitchen and all unsupervised cooking (Tobi did not count as supervision) due, of course, to the breakfast incident.<p><p>

"Now what should we do?"

Akiko whined. Kagami thought for a moment.

"Well...we couuuuld...I've got it! Let's. Be. SUPERHEROES!"

"YESSSSS."

"Ok..Tobi!"

The masked man stopped and stood up straight, putting a hand to his head in a salute.

"Yes, Kagami-Chan!"

"You will be...Super Distraction Man! You have the power to distract anyone! You shall be our sidekick!"

"Ok!"

"Akiko, you should be Mistress Migraine, with the ability to annoy anyone and give them a terrible headache!"

"That's mean!"

"It's true."

"Hey!"

"Well can you come up with something better?"

"I can actually."

"This oughta be good."

"I shall be, Lady Love! Fighting evil with the ultimate weapon: Love, kindness, adorableness, and LOLIPOPS."

"...I think my idea is way better."

"Well I think your idea is mean!"

"It's not mean! It's accurate!"

"HEY!"

"Come up with a better name at least! I mean lady love? Adorableness and lollipops have nothing to do with love!"

"Fine...how about..Chibi Girl!"

"Good enough. Ok, I shall be..."

"Bitch Girl!"

"Yes. I'M the mean one!"

"I get it from you!"

"Maybe YOU should be the sidekick instead of Tobi..."

"Ok ok I'll be nice!"

"Good choice. Anyway...I shall be...Yaoi Godess! I have numerous powers and an obsession with hot gay men!"

"You...wow. Just...wow."

"One of my main powers is the keen ability to tell gay guys from straight guys."

"...I'm just gonna go with it and hope this doesn't lead anywhere disturbing."

"You know it will!"

And with that, the girls (and Tobi) set off to 'save the day'. Although, they'll probably end up doing more damage than anything...as usual...

* * *

><p>"Look, the problem is that you're in denial."<p>

"I'm NOT in denial bitch! Now untie me!"

"Ah ah! Language! Put a dollar in the jar!"

"I CAN'T! I'm TIED. UP!"

"I'll bill you later."

The Justice Crew, as the three called themselves, had decided that Hidan would be their first victim-er...yeah. Victim. They had swiftly tied him to a chair and went from Super Heros to Super Shrinks! They were currently counseling Hidan on his supposed denial to being in a relationship of some sort with Kakuzu.

"I can't believe you're making me do this." Akiko groaned.

"Shut up! Not in front of the patient!"

Akiko sighed. "Fine. But if we die, I just want you to know, I hate you."

"Yeah yeah whatever." Kagami turned back to Hidan.

"Admit it."

"There's nothing to admit!"

"Admit it!"

"I just said-"

"ADMIT IT!"

"No!"

"HA! So there IS something to admit!"

"No there's NOT!"

"What the heck is going on in here?"

Kakuzu asked, stepping into the room, which, incidentally, happened to be he and Hidan's.

"Kakuzu-Chan! Thank fucking goodness. Help me!"

"Just for that nickname, I'm going to let you suffer whatever tortures they're bestowing upon you.."

"Aw don't be that way!"

"Tobi, DISTRACTION!" Both girls shouted at once.

"Oh..right!" Tobi jumped in front of Kakuzu and started dancing, moving his hips from side to side and flailing his arms. If you could call that a dance.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star! how I wonder what you are! Up above the world so high! Like a diamond in the sky! Twinkle twinkle little star! How I wonder what you are!"

Kakuzu blinked. "Um...ok then. Wait..where did the girls-"

"ATTACK!"

Three minutes later, Kakuzu was tied up in a chair right next to Hidan. While  
>Tobi was distracting him, Kagami and Akiko had snuck behind him with some rope. He hadn't even seen it coming.<p>

"All I have to say is, that's what you get for not helping me."

"Hidan, I swear when I get out of this, nobody will ever find your remains."

"Now that's no way to talk to your lover!"

"...Not this again." Kakuzu groaned.

"Tell me about it." Akiko grumbled.

"What was that Akiko?"

"Nothing!"

"Uh huh. Anyway, we're asked you both here today-"

"Asked? You're fucking delusional."

"Interrupt me again and you won't wake up for a week."

Hidan paled and shut up.

"We asked you both here today to discuss your denial problems."

"We're not in denial. YOU'RE the one in denial!"

"Now Kakuzu, that's exactly what you'd say if you were in denial."

The miser twitched.

"Look. It's obvious that you two are in complete love-"

"That's fucking ridiculous!"

"Hidan, what did I say about interrupting me?"

"He's right. It's ridiculous. Completely impossible. There's no such thing as love."

"Kakuzu, I have the Frying Pan Of Speaking. That means I'm the only one who gets to talk right now."

"Can we pass the fucking frying pan this way? Cause-"

"NO. I am the only one who gets to hold the frying pan! Next person to talk will be having it removed from their skull! Any objections?"

"Uh..."

"Perhaps what I should have said was, anyone up for a trip to the ER?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"That's what I thought. Anyway, I suggest that the two of you get over yourselves and get it on already. I mean, holding yourselves back for so long CAN'T be healthy! It holds you back physically and mentally! Perhaps we can start things slowly, with a hot make out session?"

Everyone was still too afraid to speak.

"You now have permission to speak."

"Ok. NO FUCKING WAY YOU CRAZY BITCH."

"What the masochist said."

"I am keeping my opinions to myself." Akiko said, sweatdropping.

Kagami was silent for a moment. "Ok...Maybe you need a little..persuasion?"

Her eyes gleamed with mischief. Two seconds later Kakuzu was struggling furiously against the ropes as Hidan continued to try and figure out what she meant.

Kagami stood up, grinning evilly and walked over to Hidan's chair.

"Uh...what the fuck are you doing?"

Kagami remained silent as she moved behind him, grabbing onto the back of the chair and starting to tilt it forward. He and kakuzu weren't very far apart to begin with, and now they were getting even closer.

"Uh...OH SHIT WAIT WAIT NO! NO NO NO! Stop! CRAZY BITCH!"

"Kagami don't you-"

But it was too late. Kagami moved Hidan's chair forward suddenly, and Hidan's lips crashed into Kakuzu's, cutting the miser off mid sentence. They sat in stunned silence, eyes wide, staring at each other. After a few moments Kagami allowed Hidan's chair to return to the ground.

"Well, session one is over. We'll be back tomorrow!" Kagmai sang.

"Justice Crew, AWAY!" She shouted, dashing out of the room, Akiko and Tobi only too eager to follow and leave Hidan's cussing and Kakuzu's violent threats behind...

* * *

><p><strong>((Again, I'm really sorry about the wait on this, and I'm also sorry that it's so short. Hopefully the chapters will be getting better soon, (and coming out sooner) but no promises. (on either) *sweatdrops* Please review and let me know what you think, and thanks so much for reading! If, that is, any of you are still here. Aha...Till next time! *throws Hidan to the FanBoys*))<strong>


	7. Ch 6: Vacation Time!

**((Oh my gawd, I didn't realize that I haven't updated this since January...I've had it sitting in my drafts about 80% finished for a very long time...I'm so sorry for the wait. I'm seriously loosing interested in this though. I'm going to try to keep going though, I swear! And if I do stop writing it, it will only be on Hiatus. I'll come back to it eventually...eventually. But as of now I am going to continue trying to pump out ideas for it. So again, I'm really really sorry for the wait. Warnings for this chapter...cussing, bad/unrealistic girl-nabbing, hints of KibaShika, KakaIru, KakaNaru, SasuNaru, and SaiNaru...I really like that last pairing. Don't know why. Probably because Sai is SO boviously in love with Naruto, and Sasuke SO doesn't deserve Naruto...it's cute and agsty. Ok, how did I get started on that? Let's move on. I don't think I have any reviews to reply to, so on to the story! Enjoy!)) **

Just about everyone on the team, except for Naruto, was kind of nervous about this mission.

It wasn't everyday you were told to infiltrate the Akatsuki hideout and retrieve two girls.

"All right! I'm so pumped! Let's do this!"

"Naruto, what is wrong with you? This is going to be very dangerous! How can you be excited at a time like this?" Sakura snapped at him.

"Oh relax Sakura-Chan! These akatsuki idiots won't even see it coming! We've got the element of surprise!"

WHACK. Down went Uzumaki!

"Owwww! What was that for?"

"YOU'RE the idiot! Just shut up and do as you're told!"

Kakashi sighed. If those two bickered like this the entire way there, the Akatsuki would hear them coming from ten miles away. He glanced over at Shikamaru, who was now trying to keep Sakura from doing any real damage to Naruto.

"Uh, guys?" Kakashi said suddenly. The three looked over at him.

"I hate to be a bother, and I know Naruto only recently returned, but could you possibly stop acting like genin who just graduated from the academy and get this mission on with like the chunin and jonin you are?"

Sakura looked a bit sheepish and apologized, then giggled.

"But Sensei, you forgot! Naruto IS a genin!"

"Oh come on Sakura! I'm not at a genin's level, I just haven't gotten to take the chunin exams yet! It's not my fault! In fact, I bet I got so strong that I'm jounin level like Shikamaru now too!"

"I wouldn't count on it Naruto."

"Not you too Nara!"

Kakashi sighed. This was going to be one long mission.

* * *

><p>"Hidan, you need to come out of the closet!"<p>

"I CAN'T you stupid bitch!"

"Beep."

"STOP DOING THAT!"

"Come on, it's not good to lie to yourself or anybody else. Just come out of the closet already!"

"It's kind of hard to do that when you TIED ME UP COMPLETELY and I have NO fucking way of opening the mother fucking door!"

"Beep beep."

Kagami and Akiko were, once again, torturing Hidan about his 'gayness'. A couple of weeks had passed, and they got in the habit of following him around, going 'beep' every time he cussed, which only made him cuss more. They had recently ambushed the poor Jashinist and tied him up very thoroughly, then thrown him in a closet and were now insisting that he 'come out.'

"Just give her what she wants and it'll be much easier on all of us!"

Akiko chimed in.

"If I wasn't TIED UP I would!"

"Excuses excuses!"

"You little...I swear when I get out of this, I'm going to KILL YOU!"

"You can't! You're not allowed remember?"

"It'll be hard to take it back when you're dead!"

"We'll just have Tobi protect us!"

This is where Hidan started laughing insanely at the mere thought of Tobi beating him in a fight.

"Before you say anything, let's just remember who distracted you long enough for us to tie you down! That's right. Tobi!"

"I'LL KILL THAT FUCKER TOO!"

"Beep! Gee Hidan, you're not doing so good today...that's already 2500 yen (approximately $25) for the swear jar!"

"FUCK YOU YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

"...2700 yen (approximately $27)

"What in the heck are you doing now?" Kakuzu grumbled, coming down the hallway.

Kagami giggled. "Look Hidan, Kakuzu's already out of the closet and waiting for you to join him!"

"...What?"

"That bastard was never IN the closet!"

"So he's been out all this time? Brave dude! Kudos to you Kakuzu!" Kagami said, grinning.

"...I'm leaving."

"Oh and by the way Hidan, you now owe 2800 yen to the swear jar!" Akiko reminded him.

"Woah wait, swear jar?"

"Yup!"

"...how much is in it?"

"Hmm...well, we've collected about 10000 yen($100) today and yesterday, and he owes about 2800 more...plus what we've collected since we started the jar last week. It's 100 yen($1 catch the drift?) per swear word.

Kakuzu looked as though he was about to start drooling.

Kagami giggled. "You want some of the money?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I do!"

"I tell you what. I'll give you...5000 yen every time you and Hidan have a yaoi moment."

"Forget it."

"But Kakuzu, for just two yaoi moments today, you'd have all the money we made yesterday."

"...I'll think about it."

"But we do have rules!" Akiko chimed in.

"Rules?"

"Yep! You can't got over the amount of money that's currently in the jar, and if there's only 50000 yen or less, you won't be getting paid."

"But feel free to make free yaoi moments." Kagami giggled.

"K-kakuzu? DON'T DO IT MAN!" Hidan wailed from inside the closet.

"We'll see." He said, quickly shuffling down the hall and away from them.

Kagami and Akiko giggled and high fived.

"Oh yeah, we definitely got him now!"

"Of course we do! Kakuzu can't resist money! I bet he'd be a whore if he had to."

"Akiko! How odd of you to think that!"

"...I get it from you!"

"Touche! All right! Now, let's go run around and cause more havoc, and leave Hidan to stew for an hour or seven."

"Sounds good to me!"

"Come Tobi! AWAAAAAY!"

* * *

><p>It had taken awhile, but the Konoha team had managed to locate and silently enter the akatsuki base. "All right. Remember the plan everyone? We'll split up and search for the girls. There's only two of them so unless they're guarded, getting them shouldn't be too hard. It's getting out that worries me." Kakashi kind of started muttering to himself.<p>

"Um...Sensei?"

"Oh sorry. Naruto and I will be one team, and Sakura and Shikamaru will be the other. There are plenty of Anbu surrounding the base as backup, but they won't be coming in with us unless it's an emrgency, so if you need help, radio them in. When you come across a girl, let the other team know through your comm devices. Go!"

And so, the two teams split up in the Akatsuki base, adrenaline pumping, hearts pounding, senses on full alert.

* * *

><p>"Pein-Sama. I believe we have Konoha intruders." Zetsu appeared in Pein's floor so suddenly all the time, so his appearance didn't really bother the leader, but what he said DID bother him.<p>

He stood up sharply from his seat and slammed his hands down on the desk.

"WHAT?" He bellowed.

"I'm afraid we have intruders. From Konoha. Like I said...I believe they're here for those girls. **Can we eat them? The intruders I mean**"

"Alert all of the members! I want those girls surrounded and protected! Do not allow Konoha to leave with them!"

"Understood. **So I take it we can eat them then if we need to? Good. I'm starving.**" Zetsu was gone again.

Pein narrowed his eyes. /So is that where they're from? Konoha after all?/

* * *

><p>"RUN AWAAAAY!"<p>

"Ack, it's gaining on us!"

"TOBI'S A GOOD BOY, DON'T HURT TOBI!"

"Stupid sword! It's too fricken heavy!"

"WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS THIS ANYWAY?"

"...Kagami, it was your idea."

"...Oh. Never mind then. It was a perfectly brilliant idea that is only failing due to my idiotic partners."

"Oh screw you!"

"That's yucky!"

"What Tobi said. No thanks."

"UG!"

Kagami, Akiko, and Tobi had decided that their next order of business would be to steal Kisame's sword by tieing a rope around the handle and dragging it away. However, they were having minor difficulties in their escape as Kisame could run surprisingly fast, and his stupid sword was ridiculously heavy, so all three of them had to pull on the rope in order to get it to move. They were gonna need new carpets down this hallway...

"Quick, around the corner!" Kagami shouted. They rounded the corner and slammed into something unexpected, falling on top of each other.

"Owowow..." Kagami muttered.

"What are you complaining about? You're on the top of the pile! Get offa me!" Akiko said, struggling to push her friend off of her.

"Tobi can't breathe!"

"All right, look! We're trying to run from our impending deaths so if you-holy nine-tails!"

Kagami finally looked up to yell at whoever had blocked their way, quite surprised to find Naruto standing in their path.

"...I'm not the only one seeing this...right?"

"No, I see it too!"

"Tobi can't see anything with pretty girl-chans on top of him!"

"Um...Sensei? I think I found em."

"GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD YOU LITTLE BRATS!" Kisame rounded the corner, skidding to a halt at the sight of the Konoha shinobi.

"Well shit."

Then Zetsu showed up and looked around. "Well, it would appear you've found them Kisame. I'm not needed here." And then he was gone again.

"What the hell is going on?"

Kakashi had been talking on his intercom to Shikamaru, telling them that they found both of the girls. He now stepped forward.

"We're here to retrieve two girls with no chakra and take them back to Konoha for questioning. Give them up now to avoid conflict."

"Akiko! This is our chance to vacation in Konoha! Let's just sit here and let them take us ok? Oh by the way, that's what she said." Kagami hissed.

"Are you crazy? And..that's gross." Akiko made a face.

"Um...yeah, I kinda am. Just do it ok? And you know it was hilarious."

"Fine, whatever."

Kisame started laughing. "Just the two of you are gonna take them huh?"

"Not quite. They've got friends." Shikamaru said, coming up from behind Kisame with Sakura following behind him.

"Ooooh, four little leafies hm? I'm soooo scared!" He said, laughing almost manically.

"Look, I suggest you get the hell out of here while I'm feeling generous enough to let you live."

"We're not scared of you one bit you overgrown fish!" Naruto said boldly, taking a few steps forward.

"Man, I wish I had some freaking popcorn." Kagami groaned.

"A tough guy hm? Hahaha, this oughta be fun! Gimme back my sword so I can take care of these guys you little brats."

Kagami giggled. "We would but...you wouldn't be able to move to take it."

"Huh? Why no-hey, what's going on?"

"You shouldn't have forgotten about that one! Got you with his shadow technique! Now you can't move unless he wants you to!"

Shikamaru looked a bit surprised. "You're very quick."

Kagami and Akiko both looked at each other and laughed. "Oh, you have NO idea!"

"All right Naruto, let's get the girls and go! Sakura, Shikamaru, you're to head out immediately after us! Let's go!" Kakashi lunged forward and quickly threw Kagami over his shoulder, Naruto doing the same with Akiko.

"AIR! Tobi can breathe again! Hey, where are pretty girl-chan's going?"

"Ow, ow, ow! AGAIN with the freaking shoulders? AND YOU'RE RUNNING! This is NOT comfortable!" Kagami complained. Kakashi was quite puzzled by how these grils were behaving.

"Hey, hey wait! Second door on the left, go in there! There's a jar full of money I have to grab, or I know that bastard Kakuzu will take it!"

"What? We don't have time to stop!"

"If we don't stop and just grab the fricking jar, I'm going to scream. And I was planning on making this easy for you."

It took them about 8 seconds to grab the jar and be back on their way out.

"Oh wait!"

"Now what?"

"That closet, open that closet!"

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

Kakashi wasn't too sure he wanted to, based on the muffled yells and curse words that were coming from the closet door.

"LET ME OUT YOU LITTLE FUCKERS! I'LL KILL YOU!" Suddenly, the closet door opened, leaving Hidan silent for a few seconds.

"Thank Jashin! Wait...who the fuck are you?"

"Hi there Hidan! These are Konoha shinobi! They're taking us with them, back to Konoha!"

"...they're taking you with them?"

"Yep!"

"...Please close the door."

"Fine, be that...HEY! That's rude! I don't wanna stay here with you anyway!"

With that, Kakashi rolled his eyes and kept going. "We are NOT making any more stops!"

"Nowhere else that we need to!"

"Good."

Surprisingly enough, they got out without further difficulty, Shikamaru and Sakura not far behind them. By the time Zetsu got word out to the other members, it was too late.

"But we're not safe till we're back home. We need to go as far as we possibly can tonight. Put as much distance between us and them as we're able to without collapsing from exhaustion. We should get back to Konoha early tomorrow."

"Whoo! Vacation time! You know, you guys are actually kind of a godsend, cause it was starting to get REALLY stuffy in that base! There's only so much a person can do to Hidan before you run out of fresh, original ideas."

Kakashi was beginning to wonder what exactly they'd gotten themselves into.

* * *

><p>"So...let me get this straight. You're from a completely different world in which our world is a television show, and that's how you have all that information on us?" Tsunade asked, not believing a word that came from her mouth just now.<p>

"Yeah, that's the gist of it anyway!" Kagami said, nodding matter-of-factly.

"You DO realize that there's no way I can believe that, right?"

"Believe it or not, that's the truth!"

"We could tell you a story that you'd believe, but then we'd be lieing!" Akiko chimed in.

Tsunade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. They didn't appear to being lieing but what they said was just...outrageous! However, it would explain the apparent lack of chakra.

"Kakashi, I'm going to place you in charge of guarding these girls. Let them stay at your place and keep a close eye on them. Act like a body guard per se. Oh and tell Shizune to bring me some sake. Lots of sake. Dismissed."

Kakashi sighed and nodded, turning and heading for the door, motioning for the girls to follow. Once out, Kakashi passed on the message to Shizune and headed for the exit. "Well, see you later Sensei! Good luck!" Naruto said, grinning and going his separate way, bugging Sakura to go out for ramen with him, who denied, saying she had other things to do. Shikamaru yawned, muttered somthing about everything being a drag and walked off. Kakashi continued on his way with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, the girls following silently behind him.

Well...for a few seconds that is.

Kagami skipped up to walk beside Kakashi while Akiko looked around excitedly, still following behind them. "So, Kakashi-San! Do you have a boyfriend?"

The silver haired man faltered in his steps slightly and turned to look at the smiling girl, raising an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Do. You. Have. A. Boy. Friend?"

"...No."

"Aw, why not? I bet you'd look totally hot with another guy."

"I wonder what kind of punishment I'd get for dumping you off on Gai."

Kagami's facial expression turned to one of horror.

"No! Kami no! Anything but that crazy green death monkey! I beg of you no! I'll be good!"

"What did I miss?" Akiko asked, coming up to walk on the other side of Kakashi.

"Scarecrow is threatning to dump us off on Gai!"

"Oh God no!"

"That's what I said!"

"What did you do to make him threaten us already?"

"I asked him if he had a boyfriend."

"...I am NOT playing matchmaker with you this time!"

"Aw, come on! I already have the perfect match for him!"

"Oh look, there's Gai now."

"NO! HAVE MERCY! I BEG OF YOU! OK I'm done! No more love life prying! Today! I promise! Most likely!"

Kakashi chuckled mentally. Ok, so this might be kind of entertaining. It wasn't often he was asked to watch over two cute girls. Granted they were kinda young looking...but still.

"All right, so tell me a little bit about yourselves." He requested.

Kagami grinned. "Well, obviously, I'm Kagami."

"And I'm Akiko!"

"We already knew that. How old are you girls?"

"I'm 17, and Akiko's 16."

Kakashi mentally cursed. Yep. Too young. Legally anyway...no no. Too young. He sighed.

"How old are you?"

"Pardon?" He hadn't been expecting that.

"How. Old. Are. You?"

"That's none of your business."

Kagami pouted. "Hey, no fair old man! We told you our ages, and you're not even supposed to ask a lady her age!"

"First off, I'm not an old man. Second off, to be fair, you don't exactly act like ladies."

Ouch.

"Hey, that's mean!" Akiko whined.

"Well _to be fair_, I called you an old man because you look like one." KAgami said, stopping for a moment and crossing her arms, putting emphasis on 'to be fair'.

Kakashi blinked. Ok, they were pretty good.

"All right, let's move on to somthing else. What do you girls like to do to entertain yourselves?"

"Draw." Akiko said sweetly.

"Read, write, and watch yaoi."

Well that explained alot.

"What do you like to read and write about?"

"I just told you. Yaoi."

"...Ok then."

"Oi, Kakashi-Sensei! You didn't kidnap a couple of little girls did you?" Kakashi twitched.

"I didn't kidnap anyone, I'm watching them under Tsunade's orders Kiba."

"WE ARE NOT LITTLE, YOU MUTT!"

"Mutt?" Kiba asked, confused. "How did you-"

"Know about your nickname? We're phsycics. By the way, you should REALLY stop being in denial that you're in love with Shikamaru. Seriously. It's not healthy. Just shag him already!"

"...I really didn't want that mental image Kagami." Akiko groaned.

"WHAT THE FRICKEN HELL MAN?" Kiba shrieked, paling considerably.

"...Ok, we're leaving now. Remind me to avoid Shikamaru." Kakashi said, sighing.

"Oh come on. Everybody here has to admit they would be a fucking adorable couple. And a pretty hot couple in bed...with Kiba topping of course...maybe we should go find Shika again and discuss his sexual preferences?"

"Let's not please!" Akiko whined.

"Yeah, not happening."

"Dude, good luck with these phsycos. I'm going-"

"To go masterbate to thoughts of Shikamaru?"

"Fuckin hell that's disgusting!" Kiba growled.

"I second that!"

"Make me the third."

"I don't know why you're complaining Kakashi. We all know you aren't grossed out by the thought of two hot dudes going at it, because it's quite obvious you wanna shag Naruto."

"Wh-what?" He sputtered, looking incredulous. "Th-that's rediculous!"

"And if you can't have him, Iruka's a close second is he not?"

"No!"

"Oh, so Naruto's the only one for you? Hm...interesting."

"...Good luck Kakashi, ya old perv." Kiba snickered. "By the way, I'm telling Naruto." He said, quickly fleeing the scene.

"No, wait! It's not true!"

"Ya know, you're gonna have a hard time with the little blonde ball of sunshine, cause if Sasuke-Bastard ever decides to come back, we all know that Naruto would drop any partner he had for duck-ass in three seconds flat, which really makes me feel for Sai, being Sasuke's replacement and all that..."

"Um..who?"

"Oh shit, I've said too much. Ok, changing topics!"

"THANK GOD!" Akiko said, fake tears of happiness flowing freely.

"Oh shut it you closet yaoi obsessed child."

"I am NOT!"

"Ok, both of you shut up right now or I swear I will use thousand years of death on both of you!"

Both girls paled and instantly fell silent. "All right all right! Sheesh! No need to molest anybody." Kagami muttered as they followed after him.

"I heard that!"

She paled again and finally fell silent, following Kakashi to his home obediently.

* * *

><p><strong>((So next chappie will entail more random crack and wreaking havoc in Konoha. There will be plenty of 'Gay Counseling', specifically towards Kiba and Shikamaru, because I swear, that's my favorite Naruto pairing. KakuHida a very close second. Just a warning. There might be KakaNaru fluff, but I haven't decided yet. If things go according to plan, there will be at least two chapters with the girls in Konoha, if not three, before they're taken back by Akatsuki. So stay tuned, I'm sorry about the wait, and although I'm not making any promises, I am honestly trying to speed things up here, but hopefully you know how inspiration works and can understand where I'm coming from. Thanks for reading, and please, please, PLEASE, review! I could really use the feedback, and anyideas or tips you guys might have for me! Till next time!)) <strong>


	8. Hiatus!

((So...I really hate to do this guys, but since it's been so long since I last updated, I havne't had any real inspiration, and I don't want to keep you guys waiting any longer, I think it's time I said this.

This story is officially on hiatus. I'm really sorry! I never wanted to do this, but I just really have no more inspiration for this. I'm just not feeling it anymore. D: I may or may not come back to it later, but if I do it will be a LONG time before I do.

Chances are, I won't come back to it. But maybe, when I have more stories completed, I'll be more into it...no promises, it's doubtful, but maybe.

So...I'm sorry. Really, really sorry, but it's over. TT^TT))


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